Keep Your Friends Close, But Your Enemies Even Closer
by Kiimii-Rose
Summary: Mario is complaining that Sonic hasn't killed Dr.Egg man yet , what will he do when Sonic shows up on his door step . Will they become friends ? will they have an all in brawl ? or Will they join alliances and have pay back on Dr.Egg man along with some help of Luigi and Princess Daisy ? Mario and Sonic crossover One Shot !


Heyy Guys :) , I got really bored and decided to write a one Shot Cross over of Mario and Sonic ! hope you guys enjoy :)

Kiimii xxx

* * *

"When the fuck is Sonic going to kill Egg Head?" exclaimed "it's so wrong that they have to drag it through so many games, It's like Chuck Norris having sex with a karate board .!" I couldn't contain the annoyance in my voice.

"Mario, it's just a game!" Luigi stood up from his chair and placed his hands on my shoulders and stared me directly in the eyes. "Mario I'll let you on a little secret –"he stopped before taking a breath he exhaled. I stood there wide eyed and confused.

"It's just a game! Get the fucking hell over it you shit brick!." suddenly I felt a sting across my face as the pain surged through my cheek as it began to swell. Realization struck me Luigi that cheap baster just hit me!

"Why did you just hit me?" I was so angry I wanted to hurt him. "Because you are complaining more than peach does! And that's saying something! " a smirked pressed across his lips.

I turned around to see the one and Sonic his blue spikes stood up as he crossed his arms, almost as If he were proud of himself. "What the fuck are you looking at you punk ass." He his eyes filled with mischief and his teeth gleamed.

"You really want to know?" my eyes lit with excitement and my heart pushed through the front of my chest causing me wince for only a matter of seconds." Yes I do actually; it will probably be one of the most pathetic insults I have ever heard." I Scoffed "Well a stupid hedgehog that doesn't have the balls to kill egg man, that's what I see." A giant smirk pressed across my lips, Luigi stood up and faced sonic. "Ooo… Are you going to take that?"

Sonic placed his hand on Luigi's chest pushing him out of the way and began taking a few steps to where I stood. I stood there glaring me directly in the eyes. "I do have the balls to kill egg man! You would never of known because your too busy chasing a whore that sleeps everyone and anything with a heartbeat. I know for a fact she has slept with all the mushroom men and more characters from these games." His voice was harsh and cold as he roared through the grit of his teeth.

" Bitch please that slut's caught and given Aids to people a long time ago your late on the update you need to get more involved or get a life either suggestion is good ." he rolled his eyes in confusion. "Oh wait, how did you exactly find out this information?" all the colour vanished from his face as he began to stutter on his words of defence.

"I know this because-"he stopped, he choked. "Oh that's right because you have aids now too because of her you have so much in common with bowser ... don't you ?." I smiled. I couldn't hide the amusement behind my eye or leaking out of my voice. It was just too funny to not pick on.

He ran super speed and placed my up against the walls holding my by the neck strong and angrily. "Shut the fuck up you midget Italian man." I couldn't help by laugh, "you really think I'm scared of you?" His eyes widened in amazement. "You're supposed to be ... Aren't you?

I scoffed. "Why the bloody hell would I be scared of you?" face was hard and my voice echoed with seriousness. I wasn't joking when I said I wasn't scared of him. It's like saying I'm petrified of an old lady crossing the road with her hand bag attached to her walking frame.

"Because I'm Sonic and you're going to be scared of me!" he grabbed a scoff of my shirt as he looked me directly in the eyes, staring deep within the black pupil. I couldn't contain the hysterical laugh that I had been holding back for some time. Sonic's grasp around my neck became weak as he slowly but gradually let me go.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA." "Stop that it isn't funny!" Sonic's tone in his voice became harder, more agitated and angry. "You're right it's not funny –"I stopped trying to contain my laughter. "It's fucking hilarious!" if there was a possible way for me to contain my laughter before, there surely isn't now.

* * *

**Boooooooooooooommmmm!**

There was a bomb! I jumped out of the way taking Luigi along with me. We hid behind the couch as the front door was blown off, along with everything falling over and either braking along with the windows shattering. The sound of broken glass and the tumble of things echoed through the house as I braced myself for the commotion that was, when I looked.

"What the fuck happened to my house!" I screamed. I couldn't contain the anger, I wanted to hurt who ever fucking decided that it would be entertaining to blow up my house.

"That would have been me "a voice lingered. It sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place my finger on who it was. I turned around to be faced with the on and only Egg man.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" I stepped towards egg man evading his personal space big time. I stood there staring him directly in the eyes as I cursed and pointed to things around the house. "Mario, just calm down I'll get everything fixed." I scoffed, anger still flourished inside me. "You better, because if you don't I'm going to go on a fucking rampage until you do ... GOT It!" I poked his chest with every word I said.

Egg man's eyes were hard and filled with frustration. He was about to answer me when his eyes caught a hold of something else. He began to blush and the sound of his breathing increased. I turned around confused to what could have the effect on him like that , to be faced with sonic he had been brushing the dust and dirt off himself not even realizing that Egg man was or the fact we had been having a heated discussion . And then it dawned on me, EGG MAN WAS GAY FOR SONIC!

Completely and utterly gay for him. His eyes glinted as a smile pressed across his lips. "Htttthhhhmm!" I had to interrupt his fantasying about the one and only dick, named sonic. I waved my hands in front of his face trying to distract him. "Earth to Egg man!" I exclaimed.

"What!" He rolled his eyes his roared through his teeth. "Can I get you something to drink?" I asked with a cheap and completely fake smile across my face. "Sure!" I walked towards the fridge stepping past and slightly moving things out of the way.

"Lemonade?" I asked sounding nice, he nodded. "Here "I pasted him the drink waiting to ask him a question when he had a mouth full of drink. " Egg man? I have a very serious question to ask you." My voice was calm and collected. It was so hard not to laugh but I managed. Your eyes darted to me, almost as if he knew the exact question I was about to ask.

I pursed my lips together and placed my fingers together, my two index fingers tapping as I tried to contain my laughter. Luigi walked up behind me placing his hand on my shoulder. "What exactly are you up too?" his voice was serious but calm. "You will see, you will see "I smirked.

"Egg man are you gay for sonic?" seriousness echoed through my voice through I was smirking. Egg man's eyes widened in shock as he spat out the mouthful of his drink. He began to cough as he tried to regain his breath. He spluttered and coughed as he tried to breath. Luigi and Sonic where on the floor where they had once been standing absolutely losing it to laughter.

"So are you?" all the colour was drained from Egg man's face. Almost as if he were scared to admit to himself that he was gay. He gulped and sweat droplets began to drip down the sides of his face. "No I'm not –"he stopped as he needed to take a breath before finishing his sentences. "gay." I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "Oh, that's reassuring." My voice was sarcastic as ever but it was hilarious.

Egg man stood up and stomped his foot, waved his hands in the air and said "This isn't funny, I'm not –"he stopped and gulped. "Gay, and never will be!" Luigi, Sonic and I all exchanged looks at each other before the three of us said at the same time. "Are you sure?" in the most gayest and girly way possible.

Egg man flushed with pink. He was blushing big time, sweating and he had to swallow. " it's going to be okay " I lied , it wasn't' going to be okay for him but for Luigi , Sonic and I it would be one of the most funniest things we have ever seen.

I walked outside "Daisy" I screamed. Within a matter of seconds Daisy stood there at my door step. He brown hair shone in the light along with her other beautiful features. I think everyone in the town would have to agree that Princess Daisy and Peach were the two hottest sisters ever.

"I need you help!" A smirk pressed across my lips. I couldn't contain the amusement behind my eyes. "Okay what's the plan?" daisy's eyes light up with excitement after I told her the plan. We were going to cause hell for Egg man.

"Egg man, this is Princess Daisy." Sonic's mouth dropped. His eyes widened and he was paralysed. "Who's that?" sonic whispered to Luigi still stunned by the gorgeous woman who just walked inside the house. Luigi placed his hand on Sonic's shoulder. "That my friend, is Peach's little sister." Luigi's smirk grew wider and wider the more intensely he stared at her.

"hello." his voice was shaky and ragged. "Daisy is here to help you." I was trying not to laugh but the devious plan was just so good it was hard not to. "With what?" his voice sounded scared and worried. "Awww…. Is Doctor Egg Man scared?" Daisy's voice was sweet and comforting.

"No!" he scoffed. He was trying to his the fact he was. "Are you sure?" she smiled innocently. "I have an idea "a smirk pressed across her lips. "What…s that..?" Egg man sounded extremely terrified. She grabbed his hand and pulled him gently to a chair in the kitchen. "Just close your eyes and relax, I'm going to give you a massage." Egg man looked up at her concern covering his face, an every inch at that.

He sat down, closed his eyes and tried to relax. "Oh darling you're so tense, you need to relax." an extremely evil smirk pressed across her face. "I know how to make you relax!" excitement sprung in her voice. "How….-"he stopped as his eyes rolled in the back of his head.

Daisy was sitting in front of him massaging his thighs, her hands gradually moved closer and closer to his groin. Daisy's eyes glinted with mischief. He moved her head signalling the bag that was on the floor next to the chair.

Inside the bag was an electric razor for cutting hair. I couldn't help but smirk, she was so evil and yet still so sexy and innocent. I plugged in the electric razor and turned it on. It was silent; the razor didn't make a noise though it was turned on. After a few seconds of recognition I moved the razor to Egg man's head.

Gently moving the razor from one side of his head to the other. Chunks of hair hit the floor. I stopped for a minute to see Luigi and Sonic run out side, they couldn't contain themselves and their laughter. After a few minted Egg man was balled and even uglier. I grabbed scissors from the bag and decided to trim his over flowing and excuse for a beard. I cut the last strand of hair. He was now balled and beardless.

Egg man opened his eyes and placed his hands on his head to stretch. His eyes widened in shock. "My hair!" he screamed. "What did you do to my beautiful hair?" he placed his hands on his face when he realized that his beard was gone tears fled down the sides of his face.

"Oh sorry, that didn't sound gay at all?" Daisy's comment surprised me. She has never ceased to surprising me. Egg man stood up and ran out the door crying. "That was the best plan ever." daisy's voice was reassuring and comforting.

"Thank you." I smiled before I turned around to walk away when I felt a tug on my arm .I tuned back around to see Daisy undoing the top buttons of her dress. Excitement sprung his eyes (actually it wasn't the only thing to spring in excitement) . "I want you Mario." her voice was hushed and seductive. I walked towards her capturing her in a kiss. Her lips were soft and warm. She tasted delicious and I knew then that I wanted her and she wanted there for that meant I was awesome because I got her not Sonic or Luigi.

* * *

"Heyy what do you think is happenings back at your house now?" Sonic's voice was curios and calm. "I actually have no idea. " I walked thinking what might be happening. "Maybe Egg man ran away crying ha-ha." We couldn't stop laughing epically when we saw Egg man or someone who we thought was Egg man running and crying. "Oh no!" my voice changes and was scared. "What's happened to Mario and Daisy?" I was scared and worried. Sonic and I decided to run back to the house to check on them.

We stood out the front inches away from the house. He slowly and gradually walked towards the front door. I was about to turn the brass knob when the sound of a woman moaning distracted me. "That can't be, can it?" Sonic's voice echoed with confusing along with mine.

"No it's probably Mario watching porn again –"I stopped and gulped. "Or it could be Mario and –"sonic cut me off. "Seriously dude I don't want a mental image in my head so please don't say it." His voice was agitated and annoyed. I turned the door knob and walked in, taking a step inside and poking my head around the corner. My mouth dropped open when my eyes caught site of my brother.

I froze. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Daisy and Mario? Together? What something that I had never ever crossed my mind. "What is it let me in!" sonic pushed past me. "What is-"he stooped. His mouth dropped open in shock. The entire colour was drained from both of our faces and we stood next to each to each other frozen.

"Oh heyy there boys "Mario's managed to spit out in the most of losing his breath too good sensations." What the fuck!" sonic was shocked and confused. Daisy moaned loudly as sweat pricked her face and her tiny diaphragm laid flat on the table centred in the middle of the kitchen.

"Mario and Daisy were getting on; well it only seems fair I did sleep with her sister at least 25 times. Oh well he will never find out …. I hope !" was the thought going through my head at the time when I turned around he walked out with one hand on sonic dragging his stiff ad shocked body behind me.


End file.
